This started as a quick Facebook post, but quickly took on a life of its own...
I'm about to post something crazy.
Remember when we were kids, and our parents left us in the car to go grocery shopping, usually with the car running so we didn't over heat and had the AM radio to keep us company? Remember how nobody car jacked us, or sneered at our parents for leaving us in the car? Remember how we didn't schedule play dates, we just knocked on our friends door after *gasp* riding our bikes to their houses by ourselves and played until dinner time (which was announced by our parents screaming our names from the front door)? Remember how we spent long summer days outside with our friends, playing in the woods, or creeks, or back yards, or fields, utilizing our imaginations and sticks/rocks/leaves as our only play things? Do you remember how if you acted a fool at your friend's house, you could count on their mom giving you the same type of treatment that YOUR mom would if you were at your own house? Me too.
Does anybody else wish we could give our kids this kind of life in the present time?
Did you know we can? Deadbeat parents aside, we can stop judging each other. We can be honest with one another. We can trust each other's intentions.
Call me crazy, call me neglectful. I let my son ride his bike around the corner to play with the neighbor boy. I don't check up on him every 20 minutes. I let him play until he comes home on his own or his friend's mom shoos him home. I return the favor when her son comes here.
I don't butt in. I encourage outside play as much as possible (weather permitting of course...and sometimes not). My daughter can disappear upstairs for two hours and I don't feel the need to run up to see what she's doing. Usually, she's entranced in her own little make believe world with her dolls.
I encourage my kids to settle things on their own (unless they just want the offending toy/game/TV taken away). They know what the rules are, and I enforce them. If they break them, they can expect the consequence to follow. And when they are at a friend's house or school and they misbehave, they know the consequence will be twice as bad. Oh, and friends? If my kids are acting up at your house, I give you permission to provide the same sorts of consequences that you would give your own kids. Please.
I've noticed an upswing of articles on Facebook lately that all talk about life as WE knew it as kids, and how we wish we could give that to our kids. Most of my close friends have confided in me that they, too, do the things I do, but like me at one time were afraid of being judged, or have CPS called, or being thought of as anything but the overly-attentive parent they believe society expects them to be.
Well, let me be the first to come out of the closet: My name is Kristy Monahan, and I don't always supervise my kids. I let them play alone. I take time for myself. I enforce rules, I dole out consequences, I live by "life isn't fair, deal with it." I love my kids.
My job is not to be my kids' entertainment director. My job is not to be my kids' play friend. My job is to be their mom. My job is to raise productive members of society who understand that life isn't fair; that hard work and a large amount of luck is what makes people successful; that just because you believe you deserve something doesn't mean you do; that you can't take care of other people unless you take care of yourself first; and that they will feel like the best versions of themselves when they share their gifts, talents, and treasures with others instead of hoarding them to themselves.
That's a huge job in my opinion. It's not an easy one. I applaud all moms and dads out there that are fighting the good fight, that are doing your darndest to raise your kids the way you were raised despite the current parenting climate.
Let's call a spade a spade. I won't judge you and your style if you don't judge me and mine.
/rant over.
