Happy-Sad Day

New chapter, new blog template: What do you think?

This is my last day of work. Although, other than turn in all of my equipment, I did no work today. I've talked for months, and YEARS frankly, about how excited I am to be home with my babies. And that hasn't changed. However, it was so hard to say goodbye to my co-workers and friends. Some of them are coming to a little gathering at my house tomorrow...but others I may not see for a long time, if ever. I was truly blessed to work with the folks I worked with. There are some I will miss more than others. That's probably normal. But, it took everything I had to not cry as I left the claims office for the last time.

Though my former boss has said he is starting a pool to see how long it takes for me to bring the kids and come in to visit. He knows me so well. :)

Major Developments

Alas, it has been quite awhile since I've posted on here. So much going on, yet very little time to update my legions of fans....hehehe...legions...right...

Anyway, here are the big developments:

* After being in my position at work for 2+ years, I was brought into my manager's office and told that I would be moving back to my old position...which I couldn't stand...and was then told it wasn't a demotion...which is crap. It was at that point that, though I had been struggling to find ways since having Abbie, I was now more determined than ever to find a way to...

*...stay home with my babies. Which, I'm proud to say, Brett and I worked out some kinks, and as of February 1, I will be entering my toughest job yet: Stay at home mommy. Or Home Executive...however you want to "french it up," I've got regular cleaning, cooking, and child-rearing activities on my plate from here until Abbie is at least in Kindergarten. I am SO excited to be able to do this. I've wanted to do this since I was a little girl!!!

And that's pretty much the biggest developments to date. All is well with the kids...Abbie is now 5 months old, rolling from back to front/front to back, and trying very hard to sit up on her own. She is a very content and happy baby, though if she wants something, she wants it now, and she'll tell you so!

Bryce is still a fantastic helper and now makes Abbie laugh all the time. He can count to 100 all by himself and is learning (on his own) basic addition. He can't wait to go to Kindergarten and ride the school bus. He LOVES playing the Wii and can kick his dad's rear end in numerous games, most recently Mario-Kart. It's very funny to watch Brett actually TRY and lose to his 4 year old. Talk about swallowing your pride! LOL

So, now on to our next chapter...

TGIF

I'm sure in the coming weeks I won't have much time to blog while I'm at work, so I'm taking advantage of the light workload now...

It's FRIDAY of my first work week back from leave! Overall it was a good week...my body is very SLOWLY adjusting to this new wake up/sleep schedule...though last night I got stuck watching the Green Mile on TV and I didn't end up closing my eyes until almost midnight. Still, I feel more rested today than I have all week, which indicates to me that my body clock is beginning to reset.

My brother got a job! He is logging out in the woods with an old friend from high school. So needless to say, he has been spending much more time away from our house. I think once he got a taste of babysitting both of the kiddos at once, he was quick to find ANYTHING to get out of here. Too funny! :)

The kids adjusted well to our babysitter. She is a wonderful stay at home mom who takes fantastic care of them. Bryce usually talks all the way home about everything he did at Summer's house. Abbie is all smiles or sound asleep when we get there. We've definitely found a keeper!!!

My housework seems to be falling apart, though...I expected it to happen. I just keep reminding myself that once my body clock resets and I'm more rested, I'll have more energy in the evenings to keep on top of everything.

At least my sink is shiny and my toilets are clean! Thanks to the FlyLady!!! (http://www.flylady.com)

Back to the Old Grind

Well kids, I'm back at work. My maternity leave is up, we ran out of money, so it was time to start collecting a paycheck again. I fought long and hard, but alas, being a stay at home mom at this juncture is just not in the proverbial cards. Boo.

It took 2 days to regain full functionality of my work laptop. It was a rather boring 2 days. Today I was able to get my work done, but since I'm not up to a full inventory yet (which I am NOT complaining about, mind you) I've been done since about 10:30AM. My hours are until 4:30PM. Needless to say, I am aware of every news story going on in the WORLD. Nicole Richie is hospitalized for pneumonia, Michael Jackson's sisters believe he was in denial about his addiction even though they all tried to intervene, and Barack Obama is apparently the worst president ever for bowing to a Japanese leader. Shame shame Mr. President.

Getting my body used to this new schedule is an entirely different beast. My kids generally didn't wake up before 8 AM, so I could go to bed at midnight and, besides the possibility of a brief interruption in sleep to tend to Abbie, I could get close to 8 hours of sleep. I am a night owl by nature, not a morning person at all...so making myself go to sleep by 10PM and get up at 6:30AM has been killing me. Mostly because I can lay down at 10, but it'll still be midnight before I finally pass out. 6:30 comes around much too quickly when 12:00 is the last thing you see on your alarm clock.

Here's to many more sleepless nights!

Learning to say No

How does one do this? How do you, say, look someone in the eye, who has asked for your help, and say "no, I can't right now."? PLEASE TEACH ME HOW!!!

With the impending birth of Miss Abbie, I am slowly but surely mentally checking out at work. My mind drifts, daydreams loom, and it has become very hard to focus. I'm normally a very hard worker, very diligent and always get everything done...but lately, man it's been a struggle to say the least. So, you'd think I'd be mindful of this, and maybe turn a few projects or favors down in order to stay afloat with the mountain of work I already have on my plate. Yeah, you'd think that, and you'd be wrong.

I've spent the last two evenings working after Bryce goes to sleep and am still not caught up. The worst part is, I already know that I will be doing this nightly all week, and will likely need to work on Friday and through the weekend to get caught up from this week. Hopefully come Sunday, I will have learned my lesson. But in the meantime, if you've come up with creative or tactful ways of telling the powers-that-be "no", please share.

I'm Sick

Well, kids, the stress of it all finally caught up to me yesterday. I spent the whole day crying, punctuated with moments of clarity, just long enough to talk about a claim with an attorney and not SOUND like I was crying all day. I got into a fight with one of my cousins over something s ridiculous via Facebook, that when I went back and read our dialog later, I was ashamed at myself. It was clear at that point, that the stress has successfully permeated every aspect of my life, and I have become a miserable person to be around.

Hell, my mom was so worried about me that she called Brett to discuss everything and make sure he was doing everything HE could to alleviate stress for me. Like it's solely his job, and he's not experiencing any stress either. God love her, she was just concerned about her daughter. Brett took it well, thank goodness.

So, anyway, we're laying in bed, after resolving some issues and I mentally felt better, but I could tell my body was rebelling. I just felt...I don't know...funny. Not like I was going to throw up, just maybe that I needed to be up and about. I went downstairs and watched mindless television until 3AM when I think I finally passed out. The TV viewing was also interrupted several times by trip to the bathroom. I'll leave out the fun details. But, let me assure you, it wasn't a fun night.

When I awoke on the couch around 4, I went back to bed. Then got back up at 5 and was sick again...until 6, when Brett got up for work. He suggested I call in sick to work, since Wednesdays are my days to work from home with Bryce in tow. This is no easy feat healthy, let alone sick and pregnant. I figure, any excess energy I have should be devoted to my child and not being at the beck and call of some attorney.

So, I'm pretty sure I'll come back to work with a counseling memo waiting on my desk for missing too many days of work lately. But, you know, I'm not afraid of that anymore, because I've decided my health and my family are much more important than any job. It would be nice, though, to be able to keep my benefits until the baby is born. :)

Dizzy, Day 15

So, it's official. There's something wrong in my head. Besides the obvious. :)

I'm going to an ENT tomorrow to find out why exactly I'm so darned dizzy, even when I only move my eyeballs. This is crazy, and is REALLY not helping the daily baby nausea.

I yelled at Bryce today. You see, Wednesdays, I work from home and Bryce stays here too. It's an interesting balancing act, and I'm glad that I don't have to do it all week (yet, anyway), because I end up sticking him in front of movies until lunchtime, and then it's immediately naptime. At this juncture, I work on anything that may require a lengthy phone conversation of uninterrupted analysis.

Anyway, I got a really weird assignment today, and while I was trying to figure it out, I had to make some calls. And Bryce decided that was the exact moment to scream that he wanted cheese. So, I got him cheese out of the fridge. But, it was just half a slice, not the whole thing, which led to a mini-melt down. And after mommy got off the phone (trying to laugh off my screaming child in the background), I literally YELLED at my son, told him to shut up and watch his damned movie and eat the cheese I gave him. He looked stunned. And he answered, "okay mommy, I'll eat my cheese." He then sat silently and didn't even make a move.

I did apologize to him. I was downright mean. I shouldn't have yelled like that. I guess that's what happens when the phone calls can't always be made during naptime and you have a 3 year old who doesn't understand. Oh yeah, and you're also very ill all day long everyday and at your wit's end. Again, not his fault.

Just life.

At Work...

So, I'm lucky enough to have the kind of job where I am able to work from home more often than not. But, occasionally, I have to make the 20 minute trek into the office and sit at my "real" desk. The problem is, I haven't seen my co-workers all week, and being the social butterfly that I am, I want to catch up and talk to EVERYONE, and I therefore don't get much done. Either that, or I have to cram it all in the afternoon, when I REALLY don't feel like working.

I've tried everything, believe me. I've tried putting headphones in to look unavailable, but that doesn't keep ME from talking to others. Basically, I lack the self-control to sit still and do my work if there are other things to distract me.

Hence, why I'm blogging right now instead of doing work!

Have a fabulous day, grinders!