Saturday, May 23, 2009

Smiles All Around

So, with one day to spare, all of the furniture is IN my house (including my INSANELY heavy piano that I was pretty sure Brett was going to pitch while I slept). With the help of a couple of wonderful friends, the office is in the bonus room, Shayann is in the office, Bryce is in Shayann's room and Abbie now has a room!!! I set up her crib today and other than painting the currently blue accent wall something more girly (or neutral), and getting Bryce his bunk bed so I can get the crib mattress back for her bed, her room is done too! I can't flipping believe it! I've agonized over this for MONTHS, and the day finally came. Now I don't know what to do with myself!

And even MORE crazy, Brett is planning to finish painting the trim by the end of this weekend! WTF!?!? If he does that, the whole darned kitchen remodel/fiasco will be over. Except the bathroom. It still needs paint and a backsplash, and the mirror re-hung. Oh yeah, and the backsplash in the kitchen. But mentally, it's over for me! YAY!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Sense of Urgency

At work, it's constantly stressed. Things must be done, they must be done right, and they should have been done yesterday. But since you couldn't finish it yesterday, you must do it within the next 10 minutes. There is always an atmosphere of rushing and getting things done as quickly (and as accurately) as possible.

No wonder I have a difficult time slowing down in my personal life. And maybe, my sense of urgency that has been ingrained in me since my college days is a blessing. Without it, I doubt I'd have a kitchen yet. We definitely wouldn't be as far along as far as "progress" with the house is concerned.

But, I guess I drive my family nuts with my demanding need to have things done yesterday. I try SO HARD to be patient and to not completely lose it on people when they don't share the same time constraints I do. But, after discussing, pleading, begging and threatening, all out screaming and fit-throwing is bound to ensue.

I've been warning for a week now, that another unwarranted, unnecessary meltdown is on the horizon. And I have employed every tool in the box and shred of patience and civility I have within me to keep it at bay.

But so help me GOD, if my furniture is not back in my house from the garage THIS WEEKEND, and if the bedrooms aren't rearranged to allow me the joy and freedom to putz around Abbie's room and prepare for my new little baby girl, all hell is going to break loose in Casa de Monahan.

You've been sufficiently warned.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Up

It's 1:30AM...where are you?

I am sitting on my couch, watching Abbie go CRAZY under my shirt. She literally kicked me out of a sound sleep and I'm waiting for her to calm back down so I can get back to sleep. First time in either pregnancy that's happened. Kinda cool, but damn, I'm tired!

On a random side note, though I LOVED Jimmy Fallon when he was on Saturday Night Live, I don't think he's found his groove yet hosting a late night show. He's certainly no Conan O'Brien. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm just not seeing him lasting long in this role. Craig Ferguson over on CBS is much funnier and a better host.

I can feel my heartbeat in my hands when I clench my fists...is that weird?

Well, I'm going to try swaying back and forth, quite possibly to rock this little chica back to sleep...and if that doesn't work...well...maybe I'll just exhaust myself back to sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Synod Assembly

As a Lutheran Christian, one of the events on the calendar each year is Synod Assembly. Basically, all of the pastors from the churches in southwest Washington get together, as well as a male and female member (who get voted on by the congregation each year), and we go through some workshops, vote on some resolutions that are being considered around the country, and there's usually a keynote speaker that teaches us something new.

This was my first year going, and I'd have to say that I would go again (just not for awhile, it was a LONG weekend). Our keynote speaker discussed diversity, how to embrace and understand others who differ from you (either in appearance, culture, sexuality, gender, etc), as well as how to listen to those that could be deemed the "powerless", and if you are among the "powerless" how to speak up. Eric Law (who is head of the Kaleidescope Institute in LA) was a very engaging speaker, and I learned a lot from what he had to share with us.

Brett and I were both supposed to go from our congregation, but he got ill and couldn't make it. So, it was me and Pastor Mark all weekend. We had a lot of good conversations, and I really feel like I got to know him much better. We shared our ideas for our very first praise band, and brought up songs and started roughing out some services.

On Saturday, the "controversial" resolutions were put on the table. They centered around formal statements of whether or not to be inclusive to the homosexual community, and whether or not to allow homosexual ordained ministers (who are already allowed to be pastors of our congregations) the "privilege" of being in a monogomous, same-gendered relationship while in a call.

Now, according to my pastor, these hot topics have been debated for the last 7 or 8 years. Slowly the amount of folks in favor of full inclusion has increased and those who are still unsure, or against this are losing ground.

I'm not here to push my beliefs on anyone else. I use this blog to discuss my life, daily goings on, etc.

But, one of the things I LOVE about being a Lutheran Christian is that questions are encouraged. Debate is good. We are an inclusive group.

I worried yesterday, that maybe my beliefs were too progressive for the group. I worried that I was a member of a hypocritical synod...one that wants to be inclusive and wants everyone to be equal, except the ones that are different from us.

We're all shaped from our own experiences, good and bad. I grew up in a small town, was not exposed to many people who were different from me, and had my eyes opened WIDE when I came to the "big city." It was scary, to challenge all of those things I'd been taught, to challenge my own pre-conceived notions about people. What I discovered was, once you get over that fear and decide you're going to get to know someone for who they are, rather than what color they are or who they love, you become richer and grow yourself.

So, I had to ask myself, why is this so scary? Are we afraid that a gay pastor might hurt our children, or teach that being gay is the way to be? If so, then how do we reconcile the leaders of the Catholic church, who did such damage to countless children? How do we decide who is safe and who is not?

If we're to be an inclusive group, then shouldn't that include ALL people? Are we afraid that, by sitting next to a gay couple in church, that they will "rub off" on us and "make" us gay too? If that's the case, then will my skin turn black if I shake hands with my friend? Will I become male when I kiss my husband?

Is being gay something that's genetic/that we're born with, or a choice? I believe that's where a lot of the debate centered around. I'm sure there are some out there that choose the lifestyle, but I can't imagine, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, why someone would willingly choose to be discriminated against, to not be able to share the same rights to love and marriage as heterosexuals, to be thought of by some as immoral, disgusting, dirty, or sinful.

I sat at a table with my pastor, another pastor from a prison congregation, and a small group of lay members and a pastor from a congregation in Vancouver. The members from the Vancouver church were all older, likely retired. I know the fear they feel. I've been there. It is a scary road to venture down. But, oh, the freedom and peace that is felt once you make a deliberate decision to educate yourself out of fear.

I was quite dismayed, to be honest, after all we had learned from Eric Law about being open, listening to the powerless, analyzing why we react or feel the way we do when we say or hear something, that the PASTOR from the Vancouver church said aloud to the entire table "it's all well and good what we were taught, but let's be realistic, nobody's mind is going to be changed by the debate." And all in his fold nodded their heads in agreement. At that point, I got up from the table, went to the bathroom and cried.

I cried not because I disagreed with them. I cried because without open dialog, without at least WILLINGNESS to hear the other side, this chuch I love, this community I love was going to go down in flames.

Upon my return, the heated debate had begun. And again, my pre-conceived notions were challenged. I fully expected the younger pastors, maybe those in more liberal areas of our state to get up in support of full inclusion. What I did not expect was the ex-marine, older man, who is a member of a rural church to get up in support of full inclusion. I did not expect the elderly retired pastor to get up in support. It bothered me to look around my table and see those whose minds were already made up not even turning around to feign listening to those who did not share their view.

I texted Brett, who was not able to be there, to ask him what his thoughts were. His response: "what would God say?" Loaded question. God said a lot of things. But, as a Christian, my highest authority is Christ (not Paul, not Moses, not Peter, not John, just Jesus). Jesus gave 2 new commandments at the Last Supper that Christians the world over strive to live by: 1"Love the Lord your God with all of your heart" and 2"Love one another as I have loved you." To me, this is what being a Christian, and a Lutheran is all about.

So, when it came time to vote, I did what I thought was right. It wasn't easy. But frankly, sometimes the "right" path is not the easy one.

And then the results slowly came in. Apparently, I need to have more faith in my own group. There was OVERWHELMING support for full inclusion of ALL people from all walks of life to have full access to Christ. It wasn't merely a 50/50 split.

My mind drifted back to the pastor at our table who told us that debate wasn't going to change anyone's mind. And maybe it didn't change anyone's mind at our table. But, over the course of ALL of the debates since this "issue" has come to the table (7-8 years), minds had been changed. Hearts had been changed.

Praise be to God.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Restless

You know, I'm so restless right now, I can't even think of anything to write. I want to write, but I can't think of anything substantial, or important, or even remotely interesting.

My baseboards are 100% installed, and my dishwasher has been mounted. There's still paint to do, and the moving back in of our living room furniture, but contractor dude's portion is almost done. Just an electrical socket in the island, and then he's done.

I had a fantastic Mother's Day! My mom chipped in with Brett for a joint Mother's Day/birthday present and I got a brand new sewing machine! This one is the Singer Futura C-250, and you can actually hook it up to your PC, download embroidery patterns, hit start, and then the thing actually embroiders it for you! Flipping amazing and so cool! I've already started working on a crazy quilt for Bryce from the scraps of fabric I've saved over the years.

I still need to move bedrooms around, but all of a sudden I have no motivation to do it. I know that sound weird, considering how much I've ranted about it over the last few months. I went into the office and looked at all the stuff that needs to be moved upstairs...so many books, no boxes for them. Then I realized that there's nothing that I can move by myself. No one to move the dresser, or mount the flatscreen TV to the wall, and move the other functional yet being-used-as-a-TV-stand-for-the-new-TV TV to Shayann's new room (which is downstairs). It's just overwhelming. And I don't want to do it. Maybe I'll lay off for a bit, and just worry about putting the bassinet in our room for now. I can still put Abbie's things into Shayann's closet for now, moving clothing from closet to closet is no biggie.

So, there you have it. Random restless ramblings. Enjoy!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

She's a Kicker

I'm tired of blogging about the house, because we have progress and then we backslide. Then I throw a fit and we have progress. And then we backslide. And the vicious cycle continues.

As I type I'm being amused by my little daughter, who just LOVES to kick, punch, and turn somersaults in my stomach all night long. She wakes up about 9, does this stretch with her arms and legs (from what I can imagine...it feels like that anyway), and then proceeds to "work out" in my belly for a good couple of hours. Then she goes through her set of sporadic movements (which I now can see from the outside), and eventually settles back down with a good set of hiccups around midnight. Then, I don't "hear" a thing from here until 10 or so the next morning. I can already see she'll be much like her mama: a night owl that LOVES to sleep in, and a fighter. :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Ssh....don't move...

...you may scare him away. Look, LOOK, but don't make a sound....


...if you glance around the corner into the kitchen you'll see a very elusive creature....

Ssh! Be very quiet...

...it's contractor dude, working on putting the trim back up....

Don't spook him, he's liable to leave and not come back for two weeks...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Temper Tantrums Preggo Style

Yup, I had one. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel better after it was all said and done.

What was it about? What else! The house! I absolutely, utterly, and COMPLETELY lost it Sunday afternoon. No control of the pitch, volume, or sailor-laden language coming out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure I reminded Brett 51 times that we have a baby on the way, that is due in 3 months, that we have not even STARTED putting a room together for. But to be honest, much of it is a blur and I can't remember. It's like I blacked out for a moment.

I have a good man, though. He gave me my space, let me take a nap, and apologized after I woke up (I did, too...I don't enjoy acting like a 2 year old, and I'm certainly not proud of it).

Wednesday (tomorrow) is the magical day, when contractor dude has promised to be back to begin work again on the little things that should only take sheer minutes to complete (according to Brett, anyway). Brett advised me, "I told him 'you HAVE to come or you HAVE to call if you can't...because if you don't, I'm going to die. My wife will literally kill me.'"

So, we'll see if he shows. Needless to say I haven't turned blue from holding my breath yet.

Things to finish:
Paint (just trimming)
Bathroom paint (all of it)
Baseboards (throughout entire downstairs)
Mount dishwasher
Trim the dishwasher
Re-install electrical outlet in my island
Pick out and install backsplash in kitchen and bathroom
Move furniture back in from garage (which only amounts to 2 couches, a leather chair, and the piano)
Move accessories back into the living room/dining room

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Relaxing Weekend

Each year about this time, Brett's extended family all heads up to Fort Worden in Port Townsend for the weekend. The events range from sing-alongs on the beach, campfires with s'mores, chasing little ones around the fields, teenagers in the Bunkers, lots of fan-TAS-tic food, and wonderful conversation. Every family has their quirks and their issues, but I truly adore Brett's family. I feel very free to be myself, and I enjoy visiting with them all, and sharing my talents (both in the kitchen and behind a guitar).

Each year, our particular family is usually in charge of breakfast on Saturday morning. Brett's mom is a fabulous cook, and she usually finds 2-3 new recipes to try out on the group each year. However, in years past, we usually were sprung with several cooking surprises that weren't on the usual menu, and required the other females in our family to spend way more time in the kitchen than we wanted to or anticipated. Each year, we try and plan for this, and tactfully explain to our MIL that we DON'T want to be in the kitchen all weekend, we don't want to waste food, and we want to make sure that everyone's food gets sampled. I am proud to say that after 10+ years of the same song and dance, she FINALLY got it. She kept to her menu (we kept to ours), and we had a VERY NICE meal with plenty of food and didn't stress about the kitchen this year. I was so happy that I wanted to kiss her!

The crowd was sparse this year, and it's becoming clearer to everyone that Port Townsend may not be the location of choice next year. There's been a lot of talk about heading out to the beach (Ocean Shores) next year if we can find a few houses on the water to rent. Even though I grew up out there and it's nothing new to me, it would be a great change of pace and a chance for Bryce to enjoy the ocean like I did growing up. We may even be able to begin some new traditions for the newest generation!

All in all, a relaxing, enjoyable weekend!