We're about 5 weeks away now (give or take two in either direction). I'm almost 35 weeks pregnant...entering month 9. This pregnancy has flown by for me, thanks to my crazy pre-schooler, even crazier husband and the unexpected things life throws your way (see previous posts for more detailed info). It has now just started to occur to me that, by this time next month, I could be holding my little girl in my arms instead of feeling her do pirouettes on my bladder.
I'm nervous. How is Bryce going to react? Is he going to feel slighted by the amount of time Abbie will need from us? In an attempt to still give Bryce the attention he needs, will Abbie get slighted? How is Brett going to handle two kids? Will he be helpful or a cranky jerk?
I've felt my anxiety surge in the last couple of weeks, too. I've been up nights, just thinking about all sorts of things and can't sleep (besides normal pregnancy insomnia). Wondering if I should go back on the good 'ole "crazy pills" (as my mother lovingly refers to them) once Abbie is here, so that I have one less thing to deal with.
How will labor and delivery go? I've been through it once, so I know what to expect, but just wondering what parts will be the same, what parts will be different. It will just be Brett and I this time...will he be able to be the support system I need, or will I feel alone despite his physical presence?
Are we ever going to be able to find a groove in this house? So many things need to be done yet (cleaning-wise). No one but me seems to see the clutter and dirt in the house, so no one but me seems to be willing to clean it. All of a sudden my husband has gone from a neat-freak to someone who walks in the door, drops the contents of his arms around him, and then heads back outside to have fun, to softball, or to hang out with friends. I finally told him last night that I was on strike again. Until he finds the time to spend in this house, working on our projects and spending time with Bryce and me, that is. He did take Bryce putt-putt golfing this morning, as he does almost every weekend, but I'm sure the rest of the afternoon will be spent outside puttering around fixing the boat.
Will I finally get to be a stay at home mama? Or, will my maternity leave fly by and I'll be back to haggling dollars and cents with personal injury attorneys by Christmas? God, I hope not. There are just so many things to think about, all of which are beginning to weigh heavily. Suppose this is probably normal.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Quick Rant...
Why is it that, when I leave for a couple of hours to do something for myself, I come back to a mess and a husband sitting on the couch, drinking a beer?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Learning to say No
How does one do this? How do you, say, look someone in the eye, who has asked for your help, and say "no, I can't right now."? PLEASE TEACH ME HOW!!!
With the impending birth of Miss Abbie, I am slowly but surely mentally checking out at work. My mind drifts, daydreams loom, and it has become very hard to focus. I'm normally a very hard worker, very diligent and always get everything done...but lately, man it's been a struggle to say the least. So, you'd think I'd be mindful of this, and maybe turn a few projects or favors down in order to stay afloat with the mountain of work I already have on my plate. Yeah, you'd think that, and you'd be wrong.
I've spent the last two evenings working after Bryce goes to sleep and am still not caught up. The worst part is, I already know that I will be doing this nightly all week, and will likely need to work on Friday and through the weekend to get caught up from this week. Hopefully come Sunday, I will have learned my lesson. But in the meantime, if you've come up with creative or tactful ways of telling the powers-that-be "no", please share.
With the impending birth of Miss Abbie, I am slowly but surely mentally checking out at work. My mind drifts, daydreams loom, and it has become very hard to focus. I'm normally a very hard worker, very diligent and always get everything done...but lately, man it's been a struggle to say the least. So, you'd think I'd be mindful of this, and maybe turn a few projects or favors down in order to stay afloat with the mountain of work I already have on my plate. Yeah, you'd think that, and you'd be wrong.
I've spent the last two evenings working after Bryce goes to sleep and am still not caught up. The worst part is, I already know that I will be doing this nightly all week, and will likely need to work on Friday and through the weekend to get caught up from this week. Hopefully come Sunday, I will have learned my lesson. But in the meantime, if you've come up with creative or tactful ways of telling the powers-that-be "no", please share.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
W.T.F.
I've determined that when all hell breaks lose in this world, I become a CNN whore. I spend every waking moment either watching it or online reading it.
Farah Fawcett is gone. Ed McMahon is gone. Michael Freaking Jackson is gone. Love him or hate him, believe the bad or not, he was a true-blue legend. I watched Jermaine Jackson give a statement from the hospital to let the media know his brother had died...and all of a sudden I realized, 'this was someone's brother...someone's son....someone's dad...NOT just a celebrity.' It made me think about how I'd react if I lost my brother...the one person who's known me longer than anyone else in this world. I would be absolutely beside myself. I've lost a dad...in fact, my dad was 51, 1 year older than Michael, when he died. I was 20. Michael Jackson's kids aren't even 12 yet (as far as I can tell). My heart goes out to them. This is not easy to take as an adult, I can't even imagine if my dad had been taken from me in grade school.
I was so hoping Farah Fawcett would pull through. I figured it was probably a slim chance, but you always want to see a happy ending. But, at least now she is at peace and out of pain.
Oh Ed McMahon, you got my hopes up after every SuperBowl, thinking that any moment, my doorbell would ring and I would be presented with balloons, flowers, and a check the size of my door for $1 million.
Rest in peace.
Farah Fawcett is gone. Ed McMahon is gone. Michael Freaking Jackson is gone. Love him or hate him, believe the bad or not, he was a true-blue legend. I watched Jermaine Jackson give a statement from the hospital to let the media know his brother had died...and all of a sudden I realized, 'this was someone's brother...someone's son....someone's dad...NOT just a celebrity.' It made me think about how I'd react if I lost my brother...the one person who's known me longer than anyone else in this world. I would be absolutely beside myself. I've lost a dad...in fact, my dad was 51, 1 year older than Michael, when he died. I was 20. Michael Jackson's kids aren't even 12 yet (as far as I can tell). My heart goes out to them. This is not easy to take as an adult, I can't even imagine if my dad had been taken from me in grade school.
I was so hoping Farah Fawcett would pull through. I figured it was probably a slim chance, but you always want to see a happy ending. But, at least now she is at peace and out of pain.
Oh Ed McMahon, you got my hopes up after every SuperBowl, thinking that any moment, my doorbell would ring and I would be presented with balloons, flowers, and a check the size of my door for $1 million.
Rest in peace.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
M.I.A.
I've not blogged in some time now. I've determined I have no reason to blog when things are well...this site seems to have become my personal punching bag. Which, alas, is good, so that I can take my frustrations out here and not on my poor, unsuspecting family. But, since it appears I have a few followers, figured I should probably give an update on life as I know it. :)
I am now 31 weeks pregnant, which for you lay folk is almost 8 months. A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks, which technically is 10 months when all said and done. My closest girlfriends are throwing me my one and only (at my request) shower next weekend and I'm hoping my registry is near empty by that time. Otherwise, I'll be spending a day in Babies R Us getting the stuff I really need. You know, it's funny...the first time around, I registered for all sorts of things, most of which I didn't end up using...the second time around, I know exactly what I need, what worked, etc, so I didn't bother with a lot of things those stupid baby websites tell you you're going to need.
The rooms got shifted about a month ago. Bryce's room is done, he has his bunk beds now complete with two twin mattresses and Lightning McQueen/Mater bedding. He has a new dresser that's red and Brett put Cars stickers all over it. It's very cool and Bryce adores his new room. He transitioned well, which was a huge relief.
Shayann is hardly ever here anymore, so her room is still unpacked, but the bed's made and the boxes stacked neatly, so I don't care. I know eventually she'll want to have her room back and she'll make it her own.
Brett has been in the process of painting the blue wall in Abbie's room pink for a few weeks now. You see, when we moved in, I painted a blue accent wall (it was Bryce's room to start), and I got a WEE bit of paint on the trim. So, now Brett isn't sure whether or not he can live with that tiny speck of blue paint on the trim of the pink wall, so he's debating on tearing out the trim and putting up new trim. So, until he makes up his mind, the wall is pink except for about 2 inches toward the bottom that are still Thomas the Tank Engine blue. Also because of this, all of her furniture is in the middle of the room and not put nicely where it goes. Her crib is decked with her new bedding though. Once I get Brett to finish the work in that room, I will take a pic of the finished product and share with you!
Speaking of paint, Brett still has not finished the trimwork in the remainder of the house. So, I still have an extension ladder sitting by my front door, paint cans and paraphernalia in my living room and a non-painted, non-mirrored downstairs bathroom. Still no backsplash in either the bathroom or the kitchen, either.
Can I tell you how absolutely frustrating it is, that, if he's lucky, the man's got 9 weeks until we will literally have NO time to finish these projects? I will absolutely kill him if these are not done before Abbie arrives. There is just no excuse. It's absolutely ridiculous.
If anyone has any advice or pointers about how else I can persuade my procrastinator husband to get this crap done, now would be the time to share!!!
I am now 31 weeks pregnant, which for you lay folk is almost 8 months. A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks, which technically is 10 months when all said and done. My closest girlfriends are throwing me my one and only (at my request) shower next weekend and I'm hoping my registry is near empty by that time. Otherwise, I'll be spending a day in Babies R Us getting the stuff I really need. You know, it's funny...the first time around, I registered for all sorts of things, most of which I didn't end up using...the second time around, I know exactly what I need, what worked, etc, so I didn't bother with a lot of things those stupid baby websites tell you you're going to need.
The rooms got shifted about a month ago. Bryce's room is done, he has his bunk beds now complete with two twin mattresses and Lightning McQueen/Mater bedding. He has a new dresser that's red and Brett put Cars stickers all over it. It's very cool and Bryce adores his new room. He transitioned well, which was a huge relief.
Shayann is hardly ever here anymore, so her room is still unpacked, but the bed's made and the boxes stacked neatly, so I don't care. I know eventually she'll want to have her room back and she'll make it her own.
Brett has been in the process of painting the blue wall in Abbie's room pink for a few weeks now. You see, when we moved in, I painted a blue accent wall (it was Bryce's room to start), and I got a WEE bit of paint on the trim. So, now Brett isn't sure whether or not he can live with that tiny speck of blue paint on the trim of the pink wall, so he's debating on tearing out the trim and putting up new trim. So, until he makes up his mind, the wall is pink except for about 2 inches toward the bottom that are still Thomas the Tank Engine blue. Also because of this, all of her furniture is in the middle of the room and not put nicely where it goes. Her crib is decked with her new bedding though. Once I get Brett to finish the work in that room, I will take a pic of the finished product and share with you!
Speaking of paint, Brett still has not finished the trimwork in the remainder of the house. So, I still have an extension ladder sitting by my front door, paint cans and paraphernalia in my living room and a non-painted, non-mirrored downstairs bathroom. Still no backsplash in either the bathroom or the kitchen, either.
Can I tell you how absolutely frustrating it is, that, if he's lucky, the man's got 9 weeks until we will literally have NO time to finish these projects? I will absolutely kill him if these are not done before Abbie arrives. There is just no excuse. It's absolutely ridiculous.
If anyone has any advice or pointers about how else I can persuade my procrastinator husband to get this crap done, now would be the time to share!!!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Smiles All Around
So, with one day to spare, all of the furniture is IN my house (including my INSANELY heavy piano that I was pretty sure Brett was going to pitch while I slept). With the help of a couple of wonderful friends, the office is in the bonus room, Shayann is in the office, Bryce is in Shayann's room and Abbie now has a room!!! I set up her crib today and other than painting the currently blue accent wall something more girly (or neutral), and getting Bryce his bunk bed so I can get the crib mattress back for her bed, her room is done too! I can't flipping believe it! I've agonized over this for MONTHS, and the day finally came. Now I don't know what to do with myself!
And even MORE crazy, Brett is planning to finish painting the trim by the end of this weekend! WTF!?!? If he does that, the whole darned kitchen remodel/fiasco will be over. Except the bathroom. It still needs paint and a backsplash, and the mirror re-hung. Oh yeah, and the backsplash in the kitchen. But mentally, it's over for me! YAY!!!
And even MORE crazy, Brett is planning to finish painting the trim by the end of this weekend! WTF!?!? If he does that, the whole darned kitchen remodel/fiasco will be over. Except the bathroom. It still needs paint and a backsplash, and the mirror re-hung. Oh yeah, and the backsplash in the kitchen. But mentally, it's over for me! YAY!!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A Sense of Urgency
At work, it's constantly stressed. Things must be done, they must be done right, and they should have been done yesterday. But since you couldn't finish it yesterday, you must do it within the next 10 minutes. There is always an atmosphere of rushing and getting things done as quickly (and as accurately) as possible.
No wonder I have a difficult time slowing down in my personal life. And maybe, my sense of urgency that has been ingrained in me since my college days is a blessing. Without it, I doubt I'd have a kitchen yet. We definitely wouldn't be as far along as far as "progress" with the house is concerned.
But, I guess I drive my family nuts with my demanding need to have things done yesterday. I try SO HARD to be patient and to not completely lose it on people when they don't share the same time constraints I do. But, after discussing, pleading, begging and threatening, all out screaming and fit-throwing is bound to ensue.
I've been warning for a week now, that another unwarranted, unnecessary meltdown is on the horizon. And I have employed every tool in the box and shred of patience and civility I have within me to keep it at bay.
But so help me GOD, if my furniture is not back in my house from the garage THIS WEEKEND, and if the bedrooms aren't rearranged to allow me the joy and freedom to putz around Abbie's room and prepare for my new little baby girl, all hell is going to break loose in Casa de Monahan.
You've been sufficiently warned.
No wonder I have a difficult time slowing down in my personal life. And maybe, my sense of urgency that has been ingrained in me since my college days is a blessing. Without it, I doubt I'd have a kitchen yet. We definitely wouldn't be as far along as far as "progress" with the house is concerned.
But, I guess I drive my family nuts with my demanding need to have things done yesterday. I try SO HARD to be patient and to not completely lose it on people when they don't share the same time constraints I do. But, after discussing, pleading, begging and threatening, all out screaming and fit-throwing is bound to ensue.
I've been warning for a week now, that another unwarranted, unnecessary meltdown is on the horizon. And I have employed every tool in the box and shred of patience and civility I have within me to keep it at bay.
But so help me GOD, if my furniture is not back in my house from the garage THIS WEEKEND, and if the bedrooms aren't rearranged to allow me the joy and freedom to putz around Abbie's room and prepare for my new little baby girl, all hell is going to break loose in Casa de Monahan.
You've been sufficiently warned.
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