ANXIETY!!!

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in October of 2006, however, I believe I've been battling the disorder since I was about 7 or 8. It finally got bad enough that I was afraid I might harm someone, so I sought help, and was relieved to find out that I wasn't crazy, that the fact that I thought something was seriously wrong was a good sign that I never would have acted on my thoughts, and was put on medication to help the symptoms, as well as seeking cognitive-behavioral therapy with a wonderful mental health clinician.



I've been on my meds since then, with a few alternations (most notably a change to ensure safety in a unborn fetus), and have been seeing my counselor regularly. For the most part, my anxiety has been in check, with only one "flare up" about 2 months ago that lasted a couple of weeks.



I saw my counselor yesterday and told her I felt absolutely fine. In fact, my anxiety was at a zero on a scale of 1-10, and because I had such a good report, she let me leave the session early.



Then last night, something triggered my anxiety and intrusive thoughts to return. As such, it was another long night and reminding myself that 1)my thoughts were completely unrealistic, and 2)my thoughts are separate from who I really am. I'm not sure what time I finally passed out, but it was pretty late at night. I hate anxiety.



All it is is an irrational fear. I know it's irrational. But, when it's late at night, I can't seem to shake it and I worry like mad. It drives me absolutely crazy, because I am a smart person, I research things I don't know to avoid fear of the unknown, I employ the tools my counselor has taught me over the years, and I still can't seem to shake this crazy, irrational fear that has haunted me since Halloween of 2006.