Thursday, August 19, 2010

A year in review

My God, has a year really gone by already? In 24 hours my baby will be 1 year old. It's SO cliche, but time really does fly the older you get.

I'm feeling rather sentimental and nostalgic tonight. Going through my mind are all the ups and downs of the last year. We are blessed that most of the events were "ups." We had a child, Brett got a promotion, I got my dream job (staying home with my babies). We were fortunate enough to be able to care for our infant nephew and then help with the transition to his other auntie and uncle. Bryce is readying himself for Kindergarten and being able to see Abbie reach her milestones on a daily basis was a reward in itself.

1 year ago tonight, I was sitting on Facebook with my oldest friend (and when I say oldest, I don't mean age-wise, I mean length of time), Jennifer, who I've known since preschool back in Montesano. Via chat, we were timing my contractions together (for the third night in a row). I fully expected the fizzle, but to my surprise and glee, they did not. Jennifer kept my mind off of the negative and toward the positive, and was really a Godsend for me through those last couple, arduous weeks of pregnancy. I will always remember that, Niffer. That, and you helping me down from the ladder in preschool. :)

All of the things I had hoped for my first time around during labor happened the second time around. Walking aimlessly around the halls of the hospital in a gown with Brett, hand in hand. Stopping momentarily to breathe through a contraction. Making it a LITTLE longer before I shrieked for the anesthesiologist. :) A quick, easy labor with no complications, and the birth of the most beautiful little girl with the biggest cheeks I'd ever seen!

Abbie Kathleen, you truly are your mama's pride and joy. My little diva. Enjoy your day, sweet pea, and know that we all love you more than words.

I've also had the wonderful opportunity to become closer to and get to know my birth family better and better. Especially my littlest brother, Max. I am honored to be the matron of honor to my sister, Tiffany, in her upcoming nuptials. My kids look forward to visits to Grammy Shell's house, and Bryce LOVES to play DS with his Auntie Tiffy and Uncle Max.

As I look forward, my calendar is full constantly and it seems there isn't even enough time to breathe. But, since staying home, my big focus for the year is living in the present. To enjoy every sob, every poopy diaper, every "mommy-will-you-lay-with-me". It all goes by too quickly. And soon, there will be another little monkey running around this joint, playing with her Uncle Bryce and Auntie Abbie. Another little bundle to love. But this time, I get to sugar her up and hand her back to HER mommy. :) Can't wait to meet you, Kolbie Noelle!

So much is done. So much to look forward to. The gift I received this year was the present. Letting go of the past, not worrying so much about the future, and just being present.

God is good.





Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Dollhouse

Not the book, MY dollhouse...which is about to become Abbie's dollhouse.

When I was a baby, my dad built me a dollhouse. It was not from a kit, it was not small, and he spent A LOT of time putting as much detail as he could into it. It had wallpaper, chair rails, wainscoting, paint, carpet, the whole nine. I spent many hours into my TEENAGE years (yes, I can admit that now, that I still played with my barbies in the dollhouse at the ripe 'ole age of 14). Eventually, I outgrew the dollhouse and it sat. I went to college, moved a few times, got married. I tried to pawn it off on family, friends, neighbors, anyone who might be willing to put a little elbow grease into it to make it shine once again. I couldn't bear the thought of it sitting in a landfill. My dad passed away when I was 20, and the house had developed quite a bit of sentimental value over the years.

Eventually, a girl I grew up near who used to play with the dollhouse with me volunteered to take it off of my hands for her little girls. However, I was pregnant at the time and she was willing to wait and see what I was having before coming to get it. Alas, we all now know I had a girl, so with humble apologies I took my gift back.

My mom has been in town from Wisconsin since the end of July, and we thought a very fitting tribute to my dad, as well as a kick-ass birthday gift for Abbie's first would be to put a bit of elbow grease into that house and "renovate." The exterior was in good condition, just needed some cleaning up, and the interior was fine structurally, just needed new flooring and updating.

Though we are still in the process of our project, my mom painted all of the walls, we fixed the minor structural issues, I laid a popsicle-stick hardwood floor in the living/dining rooms, "carpeted" the stairs with felt, and re-glued the wallpaper back to the wall. We will be putting in the remainder of the floors this week and staining the hardwood to give it a cherry color.

I told my mom tonight, the only way Abbie will ever come to appreciate the amount of work that we, and initially her grandpa, put into the dollhouse, is if she has a daughter of her own someday and decides to "update" it for her. I can only imagine the blood, sweat, and tears that went into building that house from scratch, and I can see my dad smiling from Heaven as he watches mom and me restore it back to its former glory.

Love you daddy. Thank you for such a treasured keepsake. :-)


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ladies and Gents, our Diva, Abbie....

(according to Abbie's contract, this is where you would give her a standing ovation).

Yes, indeed, our little baby girl is not a tomboy. She is not even a little princess. She is a DIVA. In all caps even. She has attitude like you would not believe. At the ripe old age of 10 months old, Abbie has a favorite blankie, favorite foods, a favorite "eating" position, will only go to certain people, smile at certain people and ONLY when she deems it necessary, and will only look at a camera if she's the ONLY one in the photo. We get into battles of wills almost daily, usually over her performing the signs I have taught her for "more" and "all done" at meal times. Now, I KNOW she knows the signs and when to use them, because she does it all the time properly...but only after she grunts, groans, growls and screams at me for more food. I constantly sign "more?" to her and show her the bite, and only after all of the other methods have not worked, she finally relents and signs "more." She throws tantrums if something is taken away (especially the things she's not allowed to play with), and cries like no one's business while she crawls. I've never seen a child so upset to be mobile in my life!

I was joking with a friend yesterday, that I think when Abbie was born, she came out holding a contract, and said "sign here" before ever agreeing to be our daughter. It states her requests and stipulations for playing the role of Abbie Monahan for life.

It would drive me insane if she wasn't so damned cute and funny about this. All I can say is, she's not even a year old yet, and she already wears me down almost daily and is very close to me throwing my hands up in the air and saying, "fine, we'll do it YOUR way."

Teenage years should be a BLAST! :)

Nana and Pappy

We found out yesterday that Shayann (who is now at the halfway mark of her pregnancy) will be having a GIRL! Kolbie Noelle Mannin is due to join us at the end of November. We are getting VERY excited to meet this little girl!

Bryce and Abbie will have a niece that they will grow up playing with! I'm sure they will behave more like siblings than like your traditional aunt/uncle/niece relationship, but alas, it takes all kinds to make a family. I am Shayann's bonus mom, but due to our small age difference, we behave more like a big sister/little sister would. Shayann is Abbie's older sister, but because of their large age difference and the fact that Kolbie will only be one year younger, I surmise Shayann will be looked at more as a second mama than a big sister. I can't wait to see how the future unfolds for our growing family!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I Can Share Now

So, the big news I alluded to a couple of posts ago has been firmed up and I am allowed to speak of it in public.

My beautiful bonus daughter will become a mommy at the end of November 2010. This means that, at the tender age of 30, I will be a (step) grandmother. Though, I hate the word "step" because of the negative connotations (thank you Walt Disney), so I will be a gramma. Gramma Kristy. Uncle Bryce and Aunt Abbie. Abbie will be 15 months old when her niece or nephew joins our family.

We've moved well past the shock, disappointment, and persuasion that parents of future teen moms certainly must all feel. Our very strong and stubborn girl has decided to raise her child, and we support her 100%. The road ahead for her will be tough, she will have her eyes opened WIDE in the next 12 months, and things will be nothing that she expects. But, I know she can do it, and she has a ton of family who support her, so I know she will be just fine. Not only that, but she carries with her a certain sixth sense when it comes to babies and children. I know she's always wanted to be a mommy. She also realizes that she's put herself in a position to become a mother in less-than-ideal circumstances, yet is determined to do what she feels is right for herself and her child.

I firmly believe that this must have been God's plan for Shayann's life all along, and this new little life is a blessed gift from Him. We are all getting very excited to meet this new little person. She is 13 weeks at this juncture, feeling better, but not quite showing yet. She does have a tiny baby bump, but unless you're really looking, you'd never notice it.

I'm very proud that Shayann is continuing to pursue her education, finish up her high school experience, and is actively looking for work in order to support her baby. The baby's father seems to want to be involved, though I honestly do not know much about him. Hopefully between its parents and the families, this baby will have everything it needs to be well-loved and cared for.

A new chapter begins!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Silence is golden

I am sitting on my couch...baby napping, preschooler in "Quiet Time" (mommy's new phrase for naptime). It has been quite some time since I've been able to just sit and enjoy the quiet. God knows I've needed it!

Hmm. I think I may take a nap. :)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The downpour is far from over

I wish I could elaborate more without letting the cat out of the bag.

Baby Hayden has been placed with my other brother and sister-in-law, the same couple who have Shaun's first biological (and born drug-affected) child. This is wonderful on so many levels. First, they have experience raising a drug-affected child and know first hand the trials and tribulations ahead for little Hayden. Their youngest is 10 and IN LOVE with babies, so they have more time, energy, and resources to give Hayden EXACTLY what he needs. Hayden is not a bad baby; I just did not have enough arms and Bryce was starting to act out because when you juggle two babies, there's very little time left for the lonely preschooler. I have a lot of respect for those of you with twins. I have no idea how you do it. :)

With one big life hurdle down in Casa Monahan, you'd think we'd be able to breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, we just got some news that we are less than thrilled about. Once firmer decisions are made on the part of the ones involved, I will elaborate more.

Until then, stay tuned. :)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Thoughts on Lent 2010

This Lenten season has been quite interesting here at Casa Monahan. My primary goal was for myself and the kids to make each and every midweek service, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and of course Easter service. We made two midweek services before adding Mr. Hayden to our fold (at which point it became impossible to continue on). And though I went to Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services, the rest of the family stayed home. We all have terrible colds and I want to make sure the kids are as rested as possible for Sunday, because WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH!!!
Abbie will be wearing an adorable green calico print dress. Bryce will be wearing his first dress shirt and (clip on) tie. He is very excited to dress like his daddy. I will attempt to remember to post pics on here for all to see.

Our church, Family of Grace Lutheran Church in Auburn, WA hosted a 24 hour prayer vigil yesterday. I signed in to come in from 11PM to midnight for quiet reflection and prayer. Boy, have I needed it lately. And though I was (and still am) battling this cold and have lost my voice, I still felt renewed as I left FOG. Between the hour of prayer and the Good Friday service itself, I was definitely emotionally drained. Our church has a life-sized cross that comes out only on Good Friday and Easter. It was propped up on the altar, and it was so easy to picture Jesus laying there, crown of thorns, nails, pierced in his side, bleeding and dying for my sins. For me! It is such a huge idea that I have a very hard time wrapping my head around it. Who would I be willing to do that for? Sacrifice myself for the sake of my kids or Brett? No question. For my brothers, sister, moms? More than likely. Friends? Probably, though there would be lots of thought involved. A stranger I've never met? No.

So, then I thought, "well, Jesus did this for me, and did it thousands of years ago, WELL before I or my ancestors were even twinkles in our parents' eyes...he didn't know me..." and then it hit me: But he DID know me. He was part man, but He was also part GOD. And God is my Father. And my Father knows me! And my Father created me and wanted me to have a way back to Him someday. Jesus is that way for me.

He is risen. He is risen indeed! Hallelujah!!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

If it's not one thing...

...I am now a "mother" of three. "Mother" is in quotes because technically I am a mother to two and an auntie to one. My 3 month old nephew is currently staying with us and with his other auntie and uncle until his mom and dad are able to go through rehab and prove to the State of Washington that they can be responsible parents.

I would do anything in the world for this little guy, I truly would. He is a remarkably good baby, very adaptable and seems to be thriving despite the recent uproot. His mom and dad call and/or visit daily to check on him. I have seem some good things at our visits, and I'm hoping that they can beat their demons so that little Hayden can go back to them.

My kids are learning (Bryce especially) that I am one person who two arms and I just cannot do everything at once all the time. Bryce has been very patient with me, almost to a fault, because he will sit back and look for an opening to seek attention that rarely comes with two under the age of one. So, rather than seek negative attention (which he did nearly constantly at first), he tells me loudly, "mommy, it's MY turn!" and that is sufficient to remind me that I have another child that needs his mommy. Both babies have learned that I will leave them to fuss on the floor (as long as they're clean and fed), to tend to Bryce's needs, which I think makes Bryce happy. Not that he has some weird vendetta, but that mommy is putting him first for a while.

I can tell you that after the first week, when my sweet nephew left to go to his other auntie and uncle's house for a few days, I felt like I could do ANYTHING. Handling my kids alone seemed so dang easy I was pretty sure I could do it with one hand tied behind my back and my eyes closed. For safety's sake, though, I didn't do that. :)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Milestones Abound


This has been a huge week here at Casa Monahan.

First, my beautiful bonus daughter, Shayann, turned 18. And with that, she packed up her things at 2AM on the morning of the big day and moved out of her mother's house, into the home of a 21 year old high school drop out guy...who still lives with his mom...and step dad...and 18 year old sister who has ALSO dropped out of high school. I HOPE we've managed to convince her that 4 months longer in school is worth sticking around for. After all, she has been going to school since the tender age of 5. What a time to drop out. But, you know, it'd be cool and all if these two sparkling examples of humans and Shayann got to go PAY for their GED's. I really shouldn't judge the kids...just their parents. I mean, what parent doesn't at least put up a FIGHT to keep their kid in school? You know, if you want to enable your own children and never allow them to suffer the consequences of bad decisions, that's fine by me. Just don't enable my child. I wonder if the mother who is allowing Shayann to live there knows that she has 4 parents who ARE NOT ON BOARD with this at all. She has a big fight waiting for her should I ever meet her, that's all I can say about that. Ridiculous.

So, she wants to be an adult and move out? Fantastic. Her mom asked for their house key back. Brett signed her car over to her and told her she had to go buy her own insurance. Missy doesn't have a job. I have no clue if she's been going to class...but alas, she is going to have to learn from her mistakes...I was just hoping that we would be able to convince her that this wasn't the mistake to make. You win some, you lose some. This was a big FAIL for us.

Another milestone is that as of Saturday the 20th, Miss Abbie will be a full 6 months old! I CAN NOT believe how quickly time has come and gone. She is almost sitting up on her own, cracks herself up all the time, and LOVES her big brother. Sometimes Bryce is the only one who can make her smile. Bryce is a huge helper, has even taken to feeding her oatmeal at dinner time when I'm trying to finish up dinner for all of us with teeth. He makes her giggle constantly. Abbie is eating well, loves all veggies so far (especially squash of all things) and is getting through fruits famously. Once she sprouts a tooth or two, we'll start her on pureed meats. Yargh.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Cute Videos

A couple of videos of the kids. They're too cute!!! I love my babies! :)





Happy-Sad Day

New chapter, new blog template: What do you think?

This is my last day of work. Although, other than turn in all of my equipment, I did no work today. I've talked for months, and YEARS frankly, about how excited I am to be home with my babies. And that hasn't changed. However, it was so hard to say goodbye to my co-workers and friends. Some of them are coming to a little gathering at my house tomorrow...but others I may not see for a long time, if ever. I was truly blessed to work with the folks I worked with. There are some I will miss more than others. That's probably normal. But, it took everything I had to not cry as I left the claims office for the last time.

Though my former boss has said he is starting a pool to see how long it takes for me to bring the kids and come in to visit. He knows me so well. :)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Senioritis

Those of you who have ever been a senior in or at something (high school, college, girl scouts, etc) most likely know about a certain mindset coined "senioritis." It's that mindset that says, "I'm outta here in xx days, so I'm not going to do x-y-z." or, "So and so is taking this project over once I'm gone, so I'm not going to spend as much time on it."

I have senioritis.

In 2 days, I will be unemployed. By choice. Strange to WANT to be unemployed in this economy. BUT, I will be taking on the most rewarding and challenging job of my life, not receiving a dime to do it, and couldn't be more thrilled. Being a stay at home mommy (or SAHM as you will see me abbreviate it from here on out) will definitely NOT be easy. As my auntie has instructed me, I must have my home clean and a hot meal on the table for my fabulous (though lovably frustrating) husband every night. I must learn how to create and realistic budget and then STICK to it. I must create routine for my kiddos, a preschool curriculum for my 4 year old (Kindergarten next year!!!), and find a perfect balance between baby time and big kid time.

I'm very excited but I'm also nervous to say the least. What happens if someone gets sick and we need medicine we can't afford? These are things I haven't had to worry about since I was broke college student, and even then it was only ME I had to worry about. What if the washer breaks and we need to buy a new one?

See, we've sat down with the budget and things for us will be super tight until June or so, when some things begin to get paid off. So, if anything disastrous happens between now and then, we could be screwed.

Even though these things float through my mind more often than I care to admit, I still couldn't be more ecstatic about being able to stay home and see all of Abbie's firsts, take Bryce to Kindergarten on his first day of school, and be home when he gets here so he can tell me ALL about it.

I would live in a cardboard box and eat top ramen daily in order to witness these moments first hand.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Major Developments

Alas, it has been quite awhile since I've posted on here. So much going on, yet very little time to update my legions of fans....hehehe...legions...right...

Anyway, here are the big developments:

* After being in my position at work for 2+ years, I was brought into my manager's office and told that I would be moving back to my old position...which I couldn't stand...and was then told it wasn't a demotion...which is crap. It was at that point that, though I had been struggling to find ways since having Abbie, I was now more determined than ever to find a way to...

*...stay home with my babies. Which, I'm proud to say, Brett and I worked out some kinks, and as of February 1, I will be entering my toughest job yet: Stay at home mommy. Or Home Executive...however you want to "french it up," I've got regular cleaning, cooking, and child-rearing activities on my plate from here until Abbie is at least in Kindergarten. I am SO excited to be able to do this. I've wanted to do this since I was a little girl!!!

And that's pretty much the biggest developments to date. All is well with the kids...Abbie is now 5 months old, rolling from back to front/front to back, and trying very hard to sit up on her own. She is a very content and happy baby, though if she wants something, she wants it now, and she'll tell you so!

Bryce is still a fantastic helper and now makes Abbie laugh all the time. He can count to 100 all by himself and is learning (on his own) basic addition. He can't wait to go to Kindergarten and ride the school bus. He LOVES playing the Wii and can kick his dad's rear end in numerous games, most recently Mario-Kart. It's very funny to watch Brett actually TRY and lose to his 4 year old. Talk about swallowing your pride! LOL

So, now on to our next chapter...